me

2012-01-30T09:30:00.002+08:00

Hello there!

It's been a while, I know. Work have been work. I've been losing patience a lot these days. Prolly due to the nature of work and having to argue with travellers are not uncommon.

Apart from that, I accidentally dropped my chop box five days ago and now my toe is injured. Chop box is this box made out of stainless steel and it holds our endorsement stamps. Trust me, the thing is pretty heavy. Despite wearing my working shoe, it actually left a pretty deep impact on my toe. Sigh. It's been five days now and it is still in pain.

A friend who happens to have either a master or degree in this field said its not a clot, but an internal bleeding. Scary or what?! Will be heading to the hospital later to get it checked. Hopefully, nothing too serious. :)

02 January 2012

2012-01-02T10:32:00.001+08:00

New Year!

How time flies when you're enjoying yourself. The next thing you know, it's 2012! I haven't have any plans on how I should celebrate the new year. Prolly because I spent my eve and the start of 2012 at work. Either way, it doesn't affect me that much because it's just another year and my 2011 was great! While everyone complains that their previous year have been a mess or that they look forward to 2012 because they want to leave their 2011 behind, I'm actually content with what I had in 2011. What? Mistakes are inevitable and even if its the 2012, you're bound to make mistakes too.

I find it funny that every year everyone would say the same thing. They would say their previous year sucks and hoped the new year would be better. We'll see, when 2013 comes, they'll say the same thing about 2012 like how they did about 2011. Just feel happy that at least you get another year to redeem your mistakes and regrets whatsoever. Because not everyone got that privilege to spend theirs.

Anyway, for this 2012, may Ellfah grow stronger, get closer and know each other a little better. May I be a better person and improve myself especially since I've issues with my temper. Well who knows maybe this year I'll eventually learn to be a much more patience person, right? Haha!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Random updates

2011-12-09T01:56:00.000+08:00

Hello!

It has been a while since my last post. I was busy with work and got a little lazy to do any updates here. Anyway, life have been awesome and I couldnt ask for anything more or less. It is perfect they way it is. Though I would have to say that it wasnt easy keeping up a relationship and doing shift work. Hardly any time for dates and special moments. I do however appreciate all the times he have been picking and sending me to work despite being tired. Its all the small things that counts, no?

Ive been having a very bad headache for a few weeks now but all is good. And so, nothing else to add. Good night!

the way it is

2011-10-24T20:18:00.000+08:00

despite being committed with someone new for less than two months, i would have to say it haven't been all rainbows and sunshine. we had a few arguments, miscommunication and differences in views. however though, we've managed to go through these with an open mind and tried our best to accommodate to each other's needs. but i have to admit, it is not as easy especially since the both of us are pretty much hot headed and stubborn.

he have always been the most down to earth one between us two. he thought of the future, the consequences when certain things are being done etc. there is a particular flaw of him that may not be of a quality i like in a person though. but i accepted it because that is a part of him. and he accepted me just the way i am even when it is difficult for him.

i know somehow i would have to change the way i do things for it is painful. i got to admit, that may have been the reason why the ex left me. :) i have been trying to change by doing some self reflection but i failed over and again to remind myself that in a relationship, it is never about me. neither it is about him but it is about the both of us. i have to put myself in his shoes before i do anything.

but then, we all know - a learning process; it takes time.

new link?

2011-09-22T16:19:00.000+08:00

old blog link, old blog.

should prolly do a new one since this one have got plenty of past memories with him. should i? i wouldn't want anyone to say i am running away from the past but i'd prefer the catch line of not wanting to remember anything. *shrugs*

Quit

2009-12-10T22:34:00.000+08:00

I've been busy. Busy with school, busy with handling the boy, busy with being bored all the time, busy will almost everything I should say. And yeah. I'm in the midst of quitting blogging. :D

2009-12-06T03:34:00.000+08:00

It has been a while since I last updated. I've got nothing much to update as it has been a routine except with truckloads of assignments on the plate. Apart from that, examinations is in a week time or so from today. There is no way I would be able to pull through for Systems Security but I am thankful enough Supply Chain Management is an open book exam. I would most probably do printings of lecture notes this coming week and would do a slight read through for it.

Let's us skip on the whole educational ranting and rant something else. I couldn't possibly post up pictures of my hauls because my items have yet to reach me and it takes such a long time due to the high volume of mails over at SingPost this Christmas month. Gaaah. I hate SingPost. Especially when it is THE festive month.

Gosh. I lack inspiration to blog. I've got nothing to blog actually. I am just filling up my time as I chat with the boy on MSN. I love naughty talks. Especially when I am talking about it with him. From all those gossips and mean things we say about others to talks of love. Haha! Too much info.

2009-12-04T01:35:00.000+08:00

I'm not used to writing down my everyday thoughts these days. It has been awhile since I last did it but when I do, it'll be all over the place and out of point. And however much I tried to contribute into writing, it just doesn't feel the same anymore. I lost the touch to write a good entry I used to do, and I most definitely lost touch expressing feelings here. I used to write so much, from feelings to every day routines but now, I don't know.

Crap, again.

I'll post up pictures of what I got recently and yes, there's loads of them. I was on a shopping spree for the past few weeks and I am broke. Broke. Broke. Broke. Why can't money just drop from the sky ?

Baby baby baby me.

2009-12-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I thought I knew you but when you proved me wrong, it felt as though we're not meant to be. We lasted for so long though we know of our differences and we want different things in life. However much we wanted for us to end up by the end of the day, sometimes we couldn't deny that you and I, we're different. And when we're different, we're not on the same frequency, we argue. We could even argue in front of so many people and not feel embarrassed about it. I don't know. It feels weird. It is much more weird when after all that have been said, we could only want each other and no one else. So weird. But I love you still. :) Despite all those times we argued, we make a threat to teach other etc. We're a violent couple. Eh eh ?

Anyhoos, hello ! It has been a while since I last update this blog of mine. Though I am aware of the settings made, I feel as though there's a crowd out there reading this. Gawd ~ Such vanity could actually kill someone. Nevertheless, it is me I am talking to and yeah, there's nothing you could do about it. Haha!

Crap.

Missing.

2009-11-29T14:30:00.000+08:00

Miss me yet ?

Ahh, just feel like insulting you..

2009-11-24T21:21:00.000+08:00

6 more days to our 23rd monthsary. suddenly, it feels like it was just yesterday that i met you. time flies way too fast these days, eh eh ? especially when we're together. need a superpower to stop the time. in that way, i'll be able to spend more time with you, honey. don't you wish for that too ? grrrr. i love you. let us celebrate our birthdays and our 2nd year anniversary at the zoo just like what we've planned out, shall we ? that is if it is okay with you. and our photoshoot for our 2nd year anniversary. a black and white theme. anyhoos, we've been getting along fine but we've got hiccups too. what's a relationship with no obstacles ? what's a path with no obstructions ? nothing. and by nothing, to me it means, you're going nowhere. never will get anywhere. it is like, there's no destination, nothing to accomplish. it would feel weird if i were to be in that position.

------------------------------------------------

and girl, no. it is not a relationship if you keep on breaking up, making out with someone else, and then to go back to the first person, but a few months later you make out with yet another person and then to repeat the whole cycle. that is being fickle. and that too means, you're cheap. :) i'm sure you would feel the tinge with this post, wouldn't you ? and THEN, you'll start to write about me and my post and yada yada yada. not that i don't know what you're doing. i like to make you flare up. ooops, no. i love doing this. to make sure you know, i know about your life. and hell no, i am most definitely not a stalker. i just happened to have informers. :) so don't go around saying your relationship with your boy is longer. cause in between, you've dated a few more men before going back to him. :) god ~ i am so mean. there's so many people like how i've described and yet, this portion of the post is just for you. i wonder if you would ever get the hint.

girls are cheap these day, i'd say.

2009-11-23T18:16:00.000+08:00

i dont get it. why girls these days are so easy to get? i mean, any tom dick or harry comes along asking if they could have a one night stand affair, free free they just give it to him. why eh? it is not as though you worth nothing, right ? it is not as though if you got yourself pregnant, the boy is going to be responsible for it. if you got someone responsible, that is okay i supposed. but still, why ????? and then there is this girl, with every boy she got into a relationship with, she would just sleep with the guy. like, what the fuck ? yeah yeah, it is up to her but hell, she's worth nothing by the time she got into the next relationship. she could work as a prostitute for all i care. i'm just concern. maybe yes, maybe no. or maybe i just feel so very much degraded for people would stereotype us girls as an easy target. hell. that would be unfortunate for her but still, girls. a handful. baaaaah.

Untitled

2009-11-19T11:11:00.000+08:00

I pestered the boy to go and enroll for his bike license. I am not materialistic but he kept on delaying by the month. I should have just kept my mouth shut the other time when he was going for his bike license previously. It is such a waste cause he was already doing his practical at that time. But I don't really favour bikes you see. So I told him I don't like my bf to own a bike. But to think about it now, having a bike is better than not having any transportation at all. It is for him, anyway. It is not for me. I've got my car license a year ago. I can drive anytime I want. Grrr.

I need that Bebe shorts. Look so pretty. And it cost a bomb ! Blergh.

Sisters have been CS-ing a whole lot now. Each time I went into her bedroom, CS. I went to the living room, CS. My room ? CS. And it is not me playing CS in my room. It's my little sister. All of them CS-ing and I'll go, " -.-" CS je tak habis habis. " It is addictive without a doubt. But it didn't really pull me into it. Sebab mati je tak habis habis. Mendak je.

And I'm like so damn excited for New Moon !

Hellooooooo..

2009-11-17T16:38:00.000+08:00

I know it's been awhile but I doubt anyone would read my page. Unless of course, you. :D Like as though I don't know. But it is okay. Let me update a little bit.

Last week was a bad week for me. I might have mentioned about it earlier in the previous post or so. But hey, I am up and well again. Alhamdulillah. I am fine and I could manage myself. Though it still hurt a little bit till now.

Then, I've gotten my NYX lipstick yesterday and I've just ordered BarryM today. What else eh. Oh, me and the boy, we're doing fine. I realize I haven't talk much on my relationship. I don't see the need too. I don't know why. Maybe cause I don't know, I don' feel like it. Never know, that person would be laughing at me for whatever the matter I don't know. Just, who knows right.

Me: B, my eyebrow tak even seh.
Him: Tahu pun. Sape suruh gatal buat kening? Tengok macam I, tak kacau pun.
Me: *stare at him in disbelief* Confirm ?
Him: Okay fine. I cukur sikit.
Me: -.-"

Moved.

2009-11-14T22:58:00.000+08:00

It seems rather stagnant here, isn't it ? That is because I've moved to a private link and only selected people are invited to read. :D And as for you, takya lah susah susah nak try to get anymore updates of my life kay ? Nyahahahah ! I'll update once in awhile. Will try to.

Pamper Me.

2009-11-12T23:11:00.000+08:00

From left to right: LA Colors [Baby Pink, Beige Delight, Hot Pink] YSL Rouge Volupte [#9 Rose Caresse, #11 Rose Culte]
I love being a woman. :DNext up, 5 NYX Round Lipstick and 2 NYX Round Lipgloss.

Aftermath

2009-11-10T14:08:00.000+08:00

I am feeling unwell after the run that I did yesterday. Napfa wasn't as pleasant and I should have followed the advice of not giving it a try after 3 years of not one physical training done. I was even exempted for secondary 5 Napfa test as I got a medical certificate from the hospital. The doctor refrained me for doing any hard labour, running, or anything that could affect the spinal cord. I was stubborn. I carried on with it, and now the after effect of it hurts me like hell. Went to the doctor's in the morning and was given an MC for the day. Afterall, I am having a hard time to even walk and sit, or do the usual routine like any other day. :'( I must remind myself to heed the doctor's advice next time and not do anything beyond than I could handle. Not that I forgot about it actually, but I love doing things that I knew I couldn't. Hehe. But just have to bare with the pain after that. I'm a risk taker, at times.

No ! No more on that, please !

2009-11-08T17:56:00.000+08:00

I was hopping from one site to another. And most sites that I happened to hop in, ninty nine per cent of them have got entries filled with nothing else but their good ol' love life stories. I know, some would say that as an author, they would have every right to write whatever heck they wanted and readers could either read and shut the fuck up, read and give positive comments of the relationship the author and the boy shared, but never anything negative about them pairs. Else, backups would come along saying readers are just being envious of the author or just plain jealous. I've been in that position, so I know. Thankfully, there aren't any hate notes anymore ever since I changed my link. Hurray for me !

But honestly, isn't there anything worth writing apart from love stories ? What about, the new makeup haul you've gotten yourself the previous day ? Or the girls night out ? You could even write on issues and how you felt about them. Why must it be love stories, over and again for every entry ? Readers do get bored and tired if it continues. Unless of course, some girl or guy who still couldn't let go of the past as yet comes in to try and break the two up. Patiently waiting for the right moment to stir a hurricane on a peaceful day. I don't like those type.

You could have mushy entries from time to time, without a doubt. I would love to read them. Others too. But to show a relatively high per cent of love life entries, isn't it too mushy ? I know of a few people who would rather have their love life on the low so no one could really check on them. And I know of a handful too who find love stories rather boring to read. Not they don't like it. But, it is like a repeat somewhat. Everyone love a good story to read, but there have got to be a mixture, yes ? You wouldn't want people to think that you couldn't live without your boy now, would you ? For being all so clingy and whatnot. *rolleyes* But even if you do, there have got other ways to prove it.

Not just, "I love you so much so that I could die not having you here with me".... etc. Then I would say, "Oh really ? You would die without him there ? You mean, you would go to the washroom and have to bring him along too ???". HAHA ! Yeah, I am sarcastic like that. I am when I feel like it. Hah ! Like the bravest of girl that she claimed to be for having tight girlfriends don't even dare to turn up when I asked her to meet me for calling me a bitch. And for going around telling almost the whole world I snatched the boy from her. I'll never forgive you by the way. That is if you didn't know, eh girl ? So much for mess with one, mess with all. Yeah right.

Thankfully most of the time, I'll just ignore shits that I have to face. But, whatever. My point is, please be a little bit more flexible on the entries. Widen your horizons, beyond your relationship life. I know for sure, there have got to be something.

And for those whom I hopped in and get to see my images and background being used, fuck yourself with a broom. I made it myself ! Don't rip thinking it is from Blogskins.com or whatever page cause it is most definitely not. You reading this ? Remove it !

YSL versus Kuku.

2009-11-07T22:48:00.000+08:00

Me : B, my YSL lippies total up to SGD 63.20 tau.
Bf : Okay, nanti gaji I keluar, pakai duit I.
Me : *giggles*
Bf : Tapi gi potong kuku you dulu kalau tak, no 63.20 eh.
Me : Takya lah gitu. I pakai duit I sendiri. Hmph.
Bf : Nak merajuk ah tu. Sikit sikit nak merajuk dengan I eh. You gi potong kuku you sekarang atau nak I gigit kuku you ?

He made me do things in order to get what I want. That boy. Pffft. Cause I like to scratch him with my nails. It's fun to do that, you know. But of course, was just teasing him, playing around. Go try !

&Pssst. I have yet to trim my nails. Hehe. Sort of promised but, will do tomorrow je lah. Eh b eh ? Hehehehe.

Tags Replies

ida-rlingg: eh eh eh no no no. no shopping for now. only vs and thats it for november shopping. have yet to reach my goal
Haha ! Takut overspend ke ? Alaaa. Spend je all that you've got. Kkay ?

ain: i noe it sucks to be in this state and its not ur fault neither his. sh|t do happens. and Im sure he will call u up saying sorry for not contacting u. cheer up kay.
Yeah, he did. Thank you so much babe. Still, it hurts a lot to be in that position where you know you can't afford to miss certain occasion but you have got no choice.

Emelda Nur: Ohh.. dun cry ok swit. tk manis tau nangis. im sure ur bf will still talks to you one day. it takes time girl. only try to care about his feelings when he cares about your feelings.. dun cry.
:) Thank you Emelda for your concern. I tried very hard to refrain myself from crying but it just happens. I don't know why but when it comes to him, it sort of hit directly into my heart. I'm sure you know that feeling kan ? :)

NanaCyber: Haha! I Pon Takot Sala Orang! Funny Laa. U Look Alot Like Paula Eh. Hehe. And No, I Didn't Record It Was Kinda Boring Though..I Couldn't Even Hear What They Were Blabbering. LOL
Haha ! No, I don't look like Paula. She's way prettier to be compared to be. Haha ! Maybe all these things do make us bored but it is something that the boys looked forward to. Kan kan ? Haha.

elly: wahh! Da ORD-OH seh! My one longway, cool k baby? Dun cry2.. Be happy 4 hym k.
Haha ! In one month time actually. Don't know why their parade is sort of early. Takde lah. I'm happy for him, really. :D

Baby, I'm sorry.

2009-11-07T00:53:00.000+08:00

I am rather down. I sent messages, one after another and none gave me a reply. I asked around, asking for the boy, but no one want to co-orporate with me at all. No one seemed to tell me where he is. I've messaged the boy, too many a times and yet, no replies. I've messaged his friends and sister. No reply still. I am getting worried. Tears aren't good enough, I supposed.

Where are you, b ?
I am such a bad girlfriend, aren't I ? Not being there for his parade. He was all so excited when I said I was coming but the moment I said I couldn't come, instantly he didn't look forward to it anymore. I wished there is something that I could do for him. It's not everyday that I could watch him march, watch him ORD etc. Crying, yet again. But I'm guessing, it didn't move him. I'm so sorry. So very sorry. :'(

Please don't do this to me.
& Yes, I'm a crybaby. Shut up.

I love you, Mr Soldier.

2009-11-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

I am such a cry baby. I went home, lie on my bed and cry to sleep. Reason ? I couldn't be there for the boy's ORD Parade. It pisses me off too. Honestly, what kind of a girl who would miss the boy's ORD Parade ? Tell me. FML.

& I love you, Mr Soldier.

YSL Rouge Volupte Lipsticks

2009-11-04T21:38:00.000+08:00

Which colour should I get ? Hmm.
And yes, I'm crazy for burning a bigger hole in my pocket.
But, as long as I am happy yes ?
:D

Cherry

2009-11-03T19:43:00.000+08:00

My 3 lipglosses from CherryCulture arrived !
I am so happy or what ?!

Though it cost me over twenty bucks for that, who cares ?
As long as I am happy, yes ?
Cheers.

Okay, that's all I wanna share. :D

2009-11-02T15:44:00.000+08:00

I got Photoshop CS3 Extended installed into the laptop and it is very much addictive. Blame it on the boy. He told me to download it and give it a try so, why not ? I am a Photoshop noob and I've never use them before. Then, I downloaded brushes from the respective websites to make the banner [the one at the top]. I know it isn't so much of a wow factor but as for myself, I am very much proud. At the very least, not bad for a first timer. :D

Anyway, you all should know by now that I've resigned McCafe. But I needed money. Not that I don't have, I do. I got myself another bag from Victoria's Secret, again. In two weeks, I've spent hundred. Gaaah. That's why I need a job. Okay fine. The boy could give me whatever I wanted, but I don't like to ask money from him. Hehe.

You know what ? I am bored. AND ! I got my job back as a barista. -.-"

Belated 22nd.

2009-11-01T01:24:00.000+08:00

My Lil Baby

2009-10-31T14:18:00.000+08:00

I haven't introduce her to you yet, right ?This is Amy. She is 2 months old now. She's is a Roborovski.Really really shy and she loves the wheel.

And that is my baby, eating while sitting on her butt. :DShe have this cute little habit of sitting like that.Even when sleeping. Haha !

Lesson.

2009-10-30T23:28:00.000+08:00

It has been a very tiring week. I don't really know what was it that is tiring, but it feels like it. Or perhaps, it is just me ? Never mind that but however, the 2 Fridays that I've gone through (last week and today), the lecturer never fails to make up for all the other dry days. Fridays are always filled in with activities which includes fun and laughter. Like today, we played the game known as "Identity" and it was helluva fun game ! I swear. It was rather bad in a way for we had to judge, to stereotype other people ~ based on their appearance, what they wear and etc. The innocent of face was actually the Terrorist. Can you imagine that ? And the one that looked so much like a murderer was actually a surgeon. Dang !

Lesson for today :

Never judge a person for it is called stereotyping.

Never judge a person even if it involves feelings for it is called prejudice.

The big question for today is, what happens if you're stereotyping without realizing you're actually doing it ? What could it cause ? Do a self check before you begin judging. However, I didn't say no one ever stereotype. For all of us should know for ourselves by now, we just do. It happens.

Go away !!

2009-10-29T11:36:00.000+08:00

And you sir,

can jolly well fuck off !

Excited !

2009-10-28T20:08:00.000+08:00

I've burnt a bigger hole in my pocket. Instead of getting the initial plan to a maximum of 4 lip sticks or lip glosses for this month, I ended up getting double the amount. I've spent almost fifty bucks for them. Grr ! Though I am very much thankful that I am born a girl instead of a boy. At the very least, I can doll myself up according to my mood. Unlike the boys we all know, they're much more prone in spending their money on gadgets for I don't know what reason. Heh. Give me the money for shopping is much more better yknow. *laugh out loud*

Anyway, hello ! It has been 4 days since I left this blog untouched, and yet, Wanie Asyura got bored and pester me to do an update. -.-" Ye lah. Budak tu free ape tak sekolah. Haha !

I want to get something from VS. Damn ! I'm gonna go broke at this rate. But never mind, the boy wants me to use his money to get whatever I wanted next month. I declined but he insisted. Else, he'll sulk if I don't want to use his money. Heh. But you know what this means ? *kening naik naik & sheepish smile* More make up collection on the list ! Let me go through the catalog one more time. I'm offfffffffffff.

NYX upcoming haul ~ in progress......

2009-10-24T23:17:00.000+08:00

Left to right : Rea, Thalia, Circe, B52 & Indian Pink

Top picture credits to Audrey
Bottom picture, I've forgotten to note down the link.
I am actually in a dilemma. I wanted to purchase a few of the NYX Round Lipstick but I don't really know what colour I should picked. Though I've already ordered Strawberry Milk and Tea Rose earlier on. I picked 2 of their Round Lipgloss as well, in Baby Pink and Whipped. You could do a search for the swatches if you want to.

That is done. But could you help me pick 6 more of the Round Lipstick shade ? I was thinking of getting Thalia, Frappucino, Circe, B52, Iris and Ceto. What do you think of the shades ? For the shades that isn't in the chart, you could do a search for them. :)

TYIA.

Ice Breaker

2009-10-23T20:42:00.000+08:00

A mere two hours was spent in school today. Played games instead so as to break the ice and was made to memorize names. I introduced myself as Shy Suhaila as we were all supposed to use a word to describe ourselves. I am rather shy, aren't I ? *giggles*

Gaaah. I honestly need a new light.

Finally !

2009-10-22T22:26:00.000+08:00

One more day to the weekends !

My oh my, you're such a playboy. Always hanging out with different girls at Clark Quay ? Wahahahaha ! Thankfully, you're just an ex boyfriend. :D Where I got the info from ? Your FRIEND ! Your good ol' friend. *smirks*

Stupid Light Bulb

2009-10-21T22:52:00.000+08:00

The boy just made it clear to me that I had better behave if I do not want to get into any trouble. Yeah, he cares a little too much sometimes. There are some who thought the boy is a bit too protective and he isn't flexible enough. For them, that is. I am comfortable with the way he treats me, though I do feel suffocated at times. It is as though someone chained me up and I couldn't move as free. Nevertheless, I do appreciate all those things he did for me. It was for my own good, he said. For in this relationship, I'm not at all dominant. I am rather laid back, waiting for solutions falling down from the sky. He got irritated with the very fact that I don't take things into my own hands. Like I've said previously, I couldn't be bothered as much with the surroundings.

Anyway, I thought today would be a long day since the last lecture supposedly ends at 5 PM [he releases us at 4 :D]. The day was rather mundane and I FB-ed in most classes. Actually I only had 2 today. 3 hours per module. Lecturers are fun people, especially for Supply Chain Management. He is a good lecturer. He gave me a B+ for my E-Business Foundation [was it ?]. Web Database Development was rather fun too. Only have to Wiki-ed the meaning for Trigger in Advance Database and its uses. Heh. I didn't realise today is such a boring day. I had a 2 hours lunch break too.

I'll update some other time. The light in my room just blew [thankfully, the house didn't suffer a blackout. just my room. pity me.] and I am without a light. Pfft ! Any kind soul would help me get a light ? Hehehehe.

I am a boring person.

2009-10-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

I know I haven't been posting up anything worth reading. I doubt anyone reads them anyway. My life is like a blank paper, with nothing worth sharing. Sometimes I feel as though I am such a boring person, and only someone like the boy would stick to me like glue. I know for myself that there are times when I couldn't be bothered with my surroundings. I don't usually react to the way I should neither would I ask if there is a need for me to bug in. I am unusually alone for most of the time, or otherwise I would either with the family or the boyfriend. I don't mix around much, nor do I bother to make new friends. I would if I feel the need to though [yes yes, laugh all you want]. I prefer doing things alone, going shopping with myself, dining in my room with lappy in front of me, wasting my money on things I don't really need, playing Diner Dash in the PSP, sitting anywhere where it is quiet. There you go. I did emphasize on me being boring, yes ? I doubt there is a need for a repeat on that part. My blog, my everyday updates would most prolly give you a picture of my life. Blah. Why did I rant again ? Oh right. I was bored.

So, skip all of those things that I've just said. They aren't worth reading actually. You've wasted your time reading it. Haha ! :D I was just messing around with you.

I've got my December planned out. Most probably would be joining the school to Pulau Pangkor for snorkeling, caving and water rafting. It would be a 4D3N affair and I honestly can't wait for it ! 20th December to the 24th.

Mid December would be spent a day at Sentosa with the babes and I'm driving ! We'll pray real hard that we wouldn't get ourselves lost on that particular day. With the boy very strict rules [&he is definitely not going to change his mind] - no bikini allowed. Sometimes I feel so restricted whenever it comes to going around on my own. Heh ~.

There would be a pit from the 18th to the 20th in the same month and I am still debating with myself on whether I should go or not, and if I should have an overnight stay. Hmmm. I don't think I'll overnight since I would have to be busy packing for the trip to Pangkor.

What else eh. Ohh, baby would most probably be going to Bangkok with his friends in December too. 4D3N as well. Around the same day as when I leave for Pangkor. He wanted to go ahead with Bangkok cause he was sulking and making my day miserable with his whining when I told him that I wanted to go Pangkor with the school. Bantai you nanti eh ? Haha ! With his, Ye lah, You nak enjoy sendiri pe. Tak nak dengan I. -.-"

I don't have much of a plan for November. Anyone wanna book me ? I am free !

2009-10-20T14:48:00.000+08:00

I've got tons of pictures to put up, but will do at least 4 or 5 up for every entry instead. It'll lag if I put up everything. Hehe.

Anyhoos, the new layout done. Though I re-use the banner for I am one heck of a lazy kitten to do one from scratch. Otherwise, all others are made from scratch. It's tiresome customizing but at least it wouldn't be the same as others. Heh.

It'll be a long day tomorrow. Suck balls.

Happily Ever After ??

2009-10-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

Fairytales.

They don't end with "Happily Ever After".

Here's my proof.

...

....

.....

......

.......

........

2009-10-17T22:57:00.000+08:00

I don't get it. I just don't get some girls these days. They sleep around, with many different men. And when they got themselves pregnant, they'll point to the one they would rather go after. Hmm. DNA check eh, girl. Please do so. Takmo tak tahu malu pinpoint finger to mane mane lelaki kau suke.

Shameless.

And Amy, only knows how to eat, main wheel, pastu tido, gigit gigit cage, naik turun slide, then cari makan, then tido again. The morning I woke up, my head stress macam nak giler because she messed up the cage. Bedding sume terkeluar, kuaci nye kulit all over the place. Masyaallah. Amy amy. But I love watching her sleep. Always sleeps on her butt. Haha ! But couldn't capture any picture of her, she is very very shy.

Amy, she is a hamster. Really cute. :D
Now you know where to seek Amy eh ? Hahahahahaha !

Gaahh. I need more makeup sets. For the fun of it. Blergh.
Mengamuk juga laki aku nanti. Boleh eh, b ? Please. Please. Please.

2009-10-16T20:23:00.000+08:00

I know it has been awhile.
But, do check back later. Maybe a week or two.

Hehehehehe.

2009-10-08T22:27:00.000+08:00

I lost my voice in the morning.
No one was able to understand what I said for all the could hear from me ~ whispers.
It was rather cool though. Hehe.

Hammies & Rants

2009-10-05T22:00:00.000+08:00

Hammie number one:

Hammie number two:

==================================================
I wonder why kids these days like to call their boyfriend as their husband. And they're only 14. -.-" Heh. Honestly, you wanna grow up that fast is it ? And here the oldies, the twenties would want to trade places with them for life isn't as stressful. Please ah. Typical young people - jangan merepek.

Not saying I am all grown up but really, you want a husband at 14 eh ? Insyaallah, Allah akan makbulkan doa korang eh. *roll eyes* Amin.

3rd October 2009

2009-10-05T11:58:00.000+08:00

While waiting for Mizi and Lis, we took our pictures in the car. I was the driver mah. Haha ! More pictures coming up.

~~Aku malas nak type panjang panjang. Okay, bye !~~

Okay lah. Since I've got nothing better to do, might as well rant on the raya outing with the boy's friends.

The initial plan was to meet up at twelve over at Ida's house. I was driving, so obviously I was on time. Together with the boy, Mizi and Lis. I fetched them at Boon Lay interchange around 11.45am.

While waiting, we got super hungry so we ate first. Thought they would arrive anytime soon but guess what ? The others only arrived 2 and a half hours later. All of us were mad but what to do kan ? They all makan makan then proceed as plan ah.

This part, terus aku malas nak elaborate. But I had fun driving around Singapore. From the north, to south, to east, to west. Thank God the boy is street smart. He knows which exit would go to which places etc.

Then, from Ang Mo Kio to Bishan [eh ??], I gave him the green light to ride. I was so worried of his safety that I just have to drive right behind him to ensure nothing happened. My heart macam nak terkeluar from my chest gitu watching him ride. Tak boleh jadi so the moment we arrived at our destination, I asked whoever yang tumpang to keluar from the car first and call the boy to come with me as I search for a spot to park the car. As usual, aku nag.

Aku : B, you tahu tak tadi almost you accident. Dah, you jangan harap I bagi you ride lagi. You jangan nak macam macam dgn I.

Wahuahua ! My one and only boyfriend seh. Sape tak risau, betul tak ? Betul betul betul.

The last house was the boy's. So okay lah. It was already 1 am when we reached his place. Helped his mother to prepare the goodies, drinks etc etc. Panas kan lauk sume. Bla bla bla bla bla. 1.30 or 1.40 in the morning, aku proceed balik together with the rest. I don't really know nak kene exit from where sume so the boy teman me. Heh. He wouldn't allow me to drive balik sendiri pun.

Drive 120 KM/Hr sebab dah lambat giler punye pasal. Abih the boy mati mati suruh slow down. Dier cakap, "Memang ah pade you laju, orang yg duduk sebelah you ni. Tk fikir ?"

So ye lah, aku slow down. Tu pun reached home around 2 AM. Cepat pe ?! Keje at 10 AM, tapi aku muntah muntah so, that gi keje. Haha ! Baik pe. Kay, bye.

Keep on staying

2009-10-01T11:34:00.000+08:00

I was thrilled to know you were doing fine, coping with things even after shit happened. It was shocking without a doubt but at least knowing you're okay, I felt more than just relieved. I admit, there would be times when I would ask myself how were you doing, were you well, or were you still brooding over what had happened. You played a part in my life, even when we're drifting apart. Your laughter, your voice, it triggered many memories of you and I. There weren't once when I didn't think of you. I thought I did. I thought we're through, even as friends. But you came back. I was happy. So so happy.

Sometimes I feel as though I lacked so much in being a friend. I was hardly there for you, or so it seemed. But you said, without a doubt I was a good friend indeed. Maybe because I stayed. I stayed in being a friend. I stayed patiently waiting for you.

And when we reminisce all those things that happened before, I don't know why it felt as though it just happened yesterday. Maybe because those were the memories I couldn't afford to let go. They do still hold a special place in my heart. It is like, they are engraved with a special tool so when I thought I forgot all about them, I actually didn't. It just need something or someone to trigger them.

But life as we all know it, it keeps on going forward. It waits for no one and no one is an exception. Don't leave me behind not knowing the route that I should take. Don't leave me behind without a clue of what's happening. Because I honestly wouldn't want to keep on walking not knowing anything.

Happy 21st Monthsary, Adi Reza.

I know I was late but, it's the thought that counts kan ? Hee. I love you.

Stubborn Little Hamster

2009-09-30T12:40:00.000+08:00

This particular hamster, very stubborn. Refuse to bathe. Unlike the other one.
But then, he is rather cute. He loves sleeping like that.
Haha !

2009-09-29T21:43:00.000+08:00

MIA-ing was never me.
But it sure is now. :D

Hurt

2009-09-25T13:04:00.000+08:00

I know without love,

life would be a monotonous journey for everyone.

But at least for me,

I wouldn't feel so much hurt as of now.

Menyesal, Cari Jodoh

2009-09-24T16:10:00.000+08:00

Fickle

2009-09-21T23:10:00.000+08:00

I've the sudden urge to shop, but I am still thinking on what I should get. If I were to get more makeup sets, I would have to get a bigger makeup case. Mine is already filled to its maximum. Most prolly get myself a new pair of jeans perhaps ? Or should I get myself a new top ? Oh right. I need to save up for the second year anniversary with the boy this coming December. He wanted the gremlin that we saw the other time over at Raffles [is it ?]. He have the weirdest taste in things lah. But I love him, no doubt. Sometimes. Haha ! Kidding.

Ugh. Would have to report for work in a few days time. Suddenly it felt so tiresome to work. But without money, I wouldn't be able to shop. Mustn't rely on the boy all the time. Eh no, I don't rely on him. To think back, I've always used my money to shop unless I needed the extra cash, I would ask. Else, solely mine. I am such a nice girlfriend. :D

Whatever

2009-09-21T01:36:00.000+08:00

I don't understand those people trying so damn hard to see others fall. It is like as though, the fall would bring happiness to the ones waiting for it. Wait till you yourself fall flat to the ground. Only then would you know how peachy life can be - and karma existed if you haven't notice.

It is a cruel world outside. Man eating man.

On the other note, I am so dead beat.

Selamat Hari Raya ! To those I love, I hate and I miss. Vice versa.

Baby, happy route marching eh. Tapi tetap I nak duit raya ! Kkay ? Okay, thank you. Sayang you ! :D

_________________________________

When I am tired, don't do or talk in a manner that would piss me off. It wouldn't be pretty. Trust me when I said, you wouldn't want to see me that way. Even sisters agreed when I got angry or pissed off, I am exactly like Dad. Those who knows Dad, you would know his temper. And those who knows the boy, he is exactly like Dad. So, when the boy and I got into an argument, don't interfere. When the boy and I got into an argument, it isn't just an argument. There's more to it.

&& Boy, don't piss me off. You know for yourself you don't like a single bit of it.

Another Rant

2009-09-19T00:14:00.000+08:00

It has become a habit of mine to upload at least a picture of myself, recently. I haven't been doing that for quite a while since I know readers would most probably puke at the sight of me. But no matter, his friends said I got prettier. I don't see much difference but thank you so much for the compliments. :)

Anyhoos, I learnt all the coffee thingy today and I feel so proud of myself. In just two days, and I could do all types of coffee from the menu. :D That is all to it, I guess. Frappes, sandwiches as well as the coffee station - all done ! *clap hands*

I went all the way to Tampines today to collect my palette. Penat you know. Working again tomorrow at ten. Zzzzz.

I told one of my friends I don't have much friends outside. Neither do I make friends with the boys. She was a little shocked. -.-" I don't know. I'd rather stay far far away from making boy friends else, that boy would personally come and make a scene. Not that I don't know him. Heh. I only have friends - at work and in school. Sedih kan ? Okay, everyone can go and cry. I also want to cry. Cause the phone is dead silent. I've got not much friends to talk to anyway. *insert muke sedih* And the boy is asleep. Cakap je tunggu kan saya end keje nak happy happy together. Penipu betul dier tu. Hmph !

Did I ever mention the boy actually disapproves me working over at McCafe ? So, everytime kita gaduh, always same line he would use. I tak suke you keje pat Mc. Iye lah baby. I tahu. You gi carikan I keje ah gitu.

My boy.

2009-09-18T11:40:00.000+08:00

Girl: I love you busyuk. Muah!
Boy: I love you too baby boncet. Muackz!

Sampai hati you panggil I boncet. :(
Haha!

Plans & Today

2009-09-17T20:42:00.000+08:00

3rd October

The plan would be going out with the boy's friends with their respective partners for house visiting. My name is in the list, so most probably I wouldn't be able to back out. Haha! They're so hilarious. Maybe that's the reason why I like his friends. They are just so nice to hang out with when you're feeling bored.

December

One of the days in December would be the December babies celebration - Naz, Rin and myself. I would most probably drive to Sentosa. Though I've got to admit I have absolute zero idea of going about from Jurong to Sentosa. Since there would be a few more months to the date, I would try [read: yes, try!] to read up the Street Directory. Or maybe, Rin could do the honors eh ? Ain, confirm plus chop she'll do the cooking since she's the only one whose birthday falls on February. Hehe. And I can't wait to meet Ayden ! Or maybe, I just can't wait to be Mummy Sue. I will for sure pamper him like my own. Hehehehe.

Today

I finally learn how to froth the milk and make a cup of Cappucino and Mochacino. For a first timer, I did froth the milk quite well. The shift leader told me so. And so did the other crew members. They say, I was a fast learner. :D I am so proud of myself. 'Cause for one thing, not everyone could handle the coffee station.

W h y ?

2009-09-16T00:00:00.000+08:00

Why are you always busy ? Spare some time for me, please. Please don't make me wait here, wait for your calls, wait for your messages, and then to cry knowing you wouldn't have that spare time doing so. :'( You've promised you would be there when I need you. But where are you ? I am sorry for being a spoilt brat. But it was you who pampers me all the time, yes ? You would do whatever I say and do whatever I want you to do. I don't want to sound so much of a spoilt little girl, but I naturally am. Message me, kay ?

2009-09-15T22:09:00.000+08:00

I'll declare today as Irritating Day.

Good for you. You've managed to push all the right buttons to irritate the hell out of me. And please, just for one girl, just one, it could pull you down so bad till you actually cut off all communications from the outside world. Worth it, eh ? Each time I messaged you, the reply would be, "Suhaila, consider me dead. Don't message me anymore." Fuck you ! Ask yourself this, when you were lonely, when you were sad, when you were happy etc, who the fuck was there to share all those emotions with you ? Wasn't it me ?! For four years, I have ALWAYS been there and now, out of the blue, you asked me to pretend you're already dead ? What the fuck was that all about ? FUCKING GROW UP ALREADY !

And you, if you think you're some hot babe, trust me when I said, there are others who is much more hotter, sexier, prettier than you. And if you're that hot, that sexy, that pretty where boys would go head over heels for you, didn't my ex boyfriend turned you down ? Why ? Main reason : You're looking for men who can give you sex. Please ah. Jadi perempuan jangan jadi perempuan murahan. You know for yourself you know me. So please ah, aku senyum, kalau kau tak suke aku sekalipun, senyum balik ah sial. Why didn't wanna smile ? Cause I got that boy you wanted eh ? Cause I managed to steal that boy's heart eh ? Like I said, my ex boyfriend detest girls like that. Heh. Next time, check blind spot before making a move.

New Moon

2009-09-14T23:40:00.000+08:00

This, is so much better. :)

Different

2009-09-13T14:19:00.000+08:00

Do I look that different ?I didn't edit. Okay, I just did a little blur and crop.

That Boy

2009-09-13T13:01:00.000+08:00

Boy : I find it stupid when people break up over something small. It's like, you've been together for years but over something so small, they break up. Don't you think so ?

I didn't argue for I know what he said was rather logical. Why would people break up over an argument that could be resolve ? Heh. I don't know. When my mind was unstable, I couldn't think over carefully. That resort to the suggestion of breaking up. Not that I don't love him, or that I couldn't put up with what he made me go through, it is just that over time, it gets rather tiring. There are times when I felt so damn lazy to even talk to him. 3 years. It is not that short a time. For 3 years, I put up with him. His temper is the worst so far. Even his mother called him a lion.

His mother told me the other time, "Kecik2 dier penakut, pendiam. Orang datang rumah terus lari duduk sebelah washing machine. Dah besar, jadi singa pat rumah. Dengan anak sedara dier pun tak manje2."

Ah well. I know that. Kadang-kadang, when I said something yang tak salah pun pada dier what I said is offensive. Pffft. That's why malas nak layankan dier. There are times when I would go, "B, I malas ah nak bobual ngan u." Hee. Pastu dier merajuk tunjuk muke masam dier. Haha ! That boy.

Tahu tak ni sape ? Guess !

P/S. Baby, I nak makan makan pat Newton lagi boleh ? And, thank you eh belikan baju raya. Hee. :D Sayang kamu !

2009-09-12T00:02:00.000+08:00

I know I deserve better. I know there are better ones out there for me. But each time the mind says 'leave', the heart tells me to stay. For the heart believes, it would get better each day. Even if things were to repeat, like a broken tape recorder, the heart still believe today would never be the same as tomorrow.

2009-09-09T12:47:00.000+08:00

I dread going to work sometimes. But without a doubt, that is the only place I do not feel tense at all. In fact, I am happy being a beanie. But I dread going to work. I want to quit, but if I quit, I'll die out of boredom. Oh well. *shrugs*

My People. :)

2009-09-06T23:32:00.000+08:00

I was looking thru' past years photos of cousins, friends, boyfriends and myself. I noticed that what was left was just a few. Lesser people actually stayed with me thru' out the years. Most were friends whom belonged in the 'hi&bye' category I supposed. Even those whom I've dated before, they seemed different now. They have grown mature over time, but that does not apply to some. Honestly, when I looked thru', I realized I've missed them growing up. I've missed witnessing important events too. I've missed those times when we were all younger. *sigh* I wished I could turn back the time and be a better friend, be a better companion, be a better adviser, be a better listener. I know I haven't done much for them. That was why they left, right ? I thank some who stayed though.

I miss all of you, those who mattered, those who don't, those who have been there and those who haven't. :) You're the reason I am what I am now, yes ? At least, one way or another. And to those who've made me changed for the worst when I was younger, you too. Thank you. :) Everyone plays an important role, don't they ? *giggle*

I would love to put up pictures, but I am afraid I don't have the time to do so. I hate uploading time, you know. *laugh*

P/S. Not everyone could be compiled in cause there are a lot of pictures and I couldn't navigate thru' the folders one by one cause it is a hassle. :)

2009-09-06T21:37:00.000+08:00

Girl: B, come take picture with me.
Boy: Later lah. I nak main lappy dulu.

Lappy more important than taking pictures with your favourite girl pe. Lappy more important than granting my wishes pe. Lappy more important than the most important person [which is me] pe. Hmph !

Temperature: 37.2 C. That is not fever, right ?

2009-09-06T00:00:00.000+08:00

Thank you, for just one more day busyuk. :)
Heh. Why the picture so big. Pfft.

2009-09-03T15:15:00.000+08:00

I guess, the only thing left now is to just be patience. It would pay off, sooner or later. I know he loves me a lot but maybe due to the fact that his side of the family is pressurizing him with questions after questions that made him that way. I have to understand, yes ? But his temper wears me out sometimes. Nevermind. Be patience. :D

There's a part of me told me to let go, but another part of me told me to stand strong. I prefer the latter. :) Don't get angry with me for wanting to stay. I am just so stubborn in that way.

It was much more worst than this before. So, I supposed this is nothing. I love you, b.

That's a very happy me up there ! Ahhhh !

I want those !!

2009-09-02T12:42:00.000+08:00

I can't breathe.

You made me sit here in a room with little oxygen passing through.

WHY ?

Don't you love me anymore ? Don't you want me to lead a care-free life ? Don't you want me to be happy ? Answer: Yes. You do love me. You want me to lead a care-free life. You want me to be happy. Then why are you doing this to me ? Why are you preventing me from going forward ? Why are you trying your best to only have me to yourself ? What are you doing to my life ? You're only stopping me from being myself. I couldn't be free when I'm with you. For every words that I said are harsh. Every words I said could hurt you. Even small talks could flare you up. Then why are you with me ? Why do you still stay when you've already said you couldn't be bothered anymore ? Why is there a need for us when all it have been is just you and me ? Us is redundant. There isn't any us from the beginning. Previously, you said you love Double Chocolate. Recently, you said you hated it. You said Double Chocolate have always been me and never you. It could never be your favourite drink. It was a waste of my time trying very hard to ace making one for you. A waste. You like making things hard for me, don't you ? Why don't you leave ? I don't want to stay in a relationship when he don't need me. What is the point in staying when all I ever did is to cry most times ? I am crying now, but do you care ? Do you even know ? No, you don't. Crying is a necessity being with you. Yes ? I don't like you anymore.

2009-09-02T01:20:00.000+08:00

My second can of Chrysanthemum White Tea. I need a third.

Mine your own business, darling.

Poly Visit

2009-08-31T12:52:00.000+08:00

Headed to the Jurong Polyclinic alone. No one accompanied me, pathetic much ? Hell yeah. I am very much an individual who likes to go down to places alone. I don't require company much for I believe, even when you die, you'll die alone. People could only just mourn over your death, not as though they'll follow you. Duh!

While in 99, the boy had to irritate the hell out of me. I swear I felt like giving up all that we've got for we've been arguing for a long time now. I doubt it is the lack of affection for each other but perhaps, it is due to the fact that I am focusing more on work rather than him. Eh wait. That is in fact due to the lack of affection. What the hell. Maybe perhaps due to the stress level at home. It could be the latter. He wasn't like this till recently. He did complain and sometimes when we met, he would be in a foul mood.

We're still arguing while I was waiting for my turn to see the doctor. But terus okay because I told him of the boys that practically read off the message I typed out. Irritating bunch of NS boys. Honestly, you don't go around reading what others are typing. It could be a private message! Then, cepat cepat he called me. -.-" That boy eh.

I honestly believe this issue would crop up again. Always. Maybe I am just too harsh. My words could be well, rude. Or sometimes, heartless. Still, he asked me to give Dzul back to him. How the hell was I supposed to? Think about it.

Anyhoos, I've gotten a day MC and medicines. And for the record, this is only the second time I actually visited a polyclinic. I've gotten use to the private ones over the years to the extend of stepping into the polyclinic, I got lost. Yes, I was lost. I didn't know what to do or where to go. Called Hamizan but most prolly he'll be in school. The boy said I would have to take a queue number so as to register. I was like, where the heck is the counter for queue number? Sekali, depan mate. -.-" Sesungguhnye, aku buta. Haha!

P/S. My layout is too pink. Don't you think ? Eh, it rhymes ! LOL.

20th

2009-08-30T14:02:00.000+08:00

We looked like kids back then, don't you think so ?

But we grew up, and take a look at us now.
:)
HAPPY 20TH MONTHSARY, ADIELI am truly sorry for written words aren't as close to how I feel for you. But for old times sake, I love you, AdiReza.You cintakan I tak ? Hee.

Laughter, the best medicine.

2009-08-29T15:55:00.000+08:00

Do take note of these words.Tenacious, Persuading, Associate, and another word I couldn't catch. :D

2009-08-29T14:28:00.000+08:00

B, I need money to shop. :D
Boleh kan ? Okay boleh. Untuk I sume mesti boleh nye. Hee.
I love you.
I find the word 'boleh' very erm, vulgar. Try to repeat it many many times. It sounds like, some Malay word referring to something. Really ! Go try.

Yay ! Daddy cakap he will talk to Esprit for me. Esprit is one stubborn watch. Hmph ! Orang tak sayang dier betul betul baru tahu. Biar diamonds dier sume tercabut. Padan muke dier. Hmm. More to serve me right. I love you Esprit. Don't die on me macam Elle, kay ? Kkay ? Okayy.

And, I look like that without makeup [exclude the brows]. Honestly. Not that pretty.
Eh wait, when was I ever pretty eh ? Never.

2009-08-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

Get a grip, El ! But I couldn't. It is so very addictive. I want you, I want you, I want you. I WANT you. You want me tak ? I know you want me. Don't hide it, I can tell.

Come come, I want you DKNY. I want, I want. B, get the watch for me can ? I want the watch, and the watch want me so badly. Well, I've fallen out of love with Esprit. Esprit made the final decision to leave me. I need a replacement, pronto ! Must prove to Esprit that DKNY would make a much better companion. I know I've been with Esprit for 2 years, but 2 years isn't that long you know. Heh. Pfft ! Don't love me anymore can just say what. Takya nak rosak last minute. Hmph !

I'm so sad. :'(

Baby, bila you nak *insert pape word you can think of* dengan I lagi ? *cheeky grin*

Aku kan mentel. Macam tak tahu gitu. Haha !

Kita nak celebrate our 2 years pat Zoo. Korang korang nak ikut tak ? Mesti ade cake ! Baby cakap nanti dier beli Chocolate Fudge. Cake yang dier belikan untuk celebrate birthday Mizi tadi. Aku suke sesangat dengan Chocolate Fudge. Besok macam taknak puase pastu gi Prima Deli beli tu cake. Sedap !

Abih, baby suruh I pakai macam rockstar. Pakai hoodie ngan high cut sneakers. Macam cool gitu kan ? Aku tahu. Baby aku kan cool. Macam ice pat dalam fridge. Hehe. Eh tak, itu kan sejuk. Sejuk tu cold. Abih cool bahase Melayu ape eh ? Kool eh ? Haha !

Aku suke bobual macam gini. Merepek gitu. Rosak. Haha !

Kay, bye bye.

2009-08-22T11:54:00.000+08:00

I'm doing fine, I supposed. :)

Reply to tags:

21 Aug 09, 02:04
hubby: love you honey!!! muackz!
- I love you too honey. :) Muah !

20 Aug 09, 05:25
Hamizan: cause i da lame tak date you... HAHA!

- Iye. Haha ! Jangan nak macam macam eh you.

20 Aug 09, 01:42
chacha: peeeeeeeeeeeek-a-booooooooooooo!
- Peeeek-a-booooooooo back at you ! Haha.

20 Aug 09, 01:19
shikin: woah....hahaha....sakit kuat benar benar kau rasa...hahah
- Sape sakit kuat ? Haha !

20 Aug 09, 00:41
Lynno: -.- whats up with your post? *opens eyes big big.*
20 Aug 09, 00:39
Lynno: Babe, i miss you alot. can we meet up soon? pretty pretty please? i have alot to talk about=(
- Hey babe. Yeah, it's been a while. Get back to me okay. PM or message me. We'll talk. It has been quite some time since we last saw each other too. My post ? Which post ?

19 Aug 09, 15:08
Cahaya: mangkok cawan piring. LOM RELINK I KERR? hahas. meyh relink keyh syg. hohos.
19 Aug 09, 15:07
Cahaya: ehhh asik tukar skinn jerr. stop it ehh. buat org jeles je tauu!! hahas. and the pink is hottilicious laahh. make one for me kenn the heading? LOL!!!!!
- Haha ! Mesti ahh tukar tukar. Kalau satu skin je boring ah. Sakit mata memandang. Haha ! Tky jealous. Blh buat sendiri pe. Haha ! What heading eh ? Hee. KKay, I relink you now.

18 Aug 09, 14:42
khat: love ur skin!!!! :)
- Thanks Khat ! :)

17 Aug 09, 23:09
Hasrul: sorry huh.. i never on9...
- Takpe. I got it from him already. :)

17 Aug 09, 20:14
iqa-: tengok.. dia tukar lagi layoutnya
- Hee. Tangan gatal sesangat. Haha !

17 Aug 09, 18:46
QRAISHA: boooooo ! i found your blog like finally. haha :D

- Hee. Booo ! At last eh. Haha !

2009-08-17T12:33:00.000+08:00

~~Just make do with this first while I figure out the kind of layout I wanted by the end of this. Thanks.~~ DONE !

And that Pelawan Api of a bastard tak faham faham pe orang kata orang tak nak main ngan dier ? Haha ! Sakit kuat pe dier tu ? Tunggu time laki aku cari kau. Kau chill je eh Roxstah. Muke kau mintak kene pecah baru faham pe ? Heh.

Stop and Restart.

2009-08-14T21:53:00.000+08:00

I believe that the people around you moulds you to be the person you would turn out into. Be it good or bad. But at the very least, I know deep inside a bad bad person, there's a part of them that is still good. We mustn't judge on what we see, as well as what we went through. Though I admit, there are times that I judge a person on how he/she treated me. But people change overtime, don't they ?

I was asked by my close friends to charge that particular person for what he did to me. But I didn't. 'Cause for me, it is okay for him to do whatever he had done to me. He'll change, somehow. It's been awhile since anyone reminded me of him. But that one person, she is brave enough to mention his name to me. I'm never proud of what happened. But at the very least, I didn't charge him like I should and ruin his life.

Like you and I, we're humans. We make mistakes and sometimes, once is not enough. We need to fall, over and over again before we could be strong.

Try punching a wall. Not once, not twice, but many times. The first few punches, it would hurt, it would bleed. But overtime, no matter how hard you hit the wall, you wouldn't feel any pain at all. Why ? Because your knuckles have grown accustomed to it.

Though I have to agree, I mustn't compare between the two - emotional and physical pain. Physical wounds could heal faster to be compared to the other. But then, these things takes time.

I was physically abused by an ex boyfriend before. It was traumatizing. That goes into account the number of failed relationships I had after him. Whoever I've dated, I've never blamed them for what had happened. For I admit, it was my fault to begin with. I was afraid, and yet I went on from one relationship to another in the hope of forgetting my past. He, who abused me was once my best friend. That's why I've never dated any best boyfriends that I have.

Well, except one. My boyfriend. I must admit, I was afraid. But it was only that one incident that happened a year ago, did he know that that very sight of him was the reason why I want to leave. He reminded me of my ex boyfriend. But I am not afraid to restart over. && Now ? He wouldn't even raise his voice at me. The least he would do when I made him mad, he would keep his silence and walk off. Or, he would just have his eldest sister to talk to me. I am very stubborn at times. But, that works better for me I supposed.

I know I am not going anywhere to what I want to put across to everyone. But, sometimes there is a need for a restart. Just restart from somewhere. 'Cause in restarting, the path that you're walking on could be much better than the previous.

Don't be afraid in restarting. It could be better for you, and even the person who is walking with you.

2009-08-14T09:31:00.000+08:00

Let me make this clear to whoever that needed this.

First and foremost, the entry on August 12, that one is for that whoever that actually blogged on her family and labeling her parents in public. There isn't a need for me to provide anyone her links for that matter cause I myself couldn't recall what her blog address is. Just know that I've gotten her link from Feeza's tagboard which have been removed by her.

I am brought up in a family where family matters remains private. No matter how bad a family is, it is just not right to let the whole world know what the parents did, what more labeling them. It is enough to entrust them to a close friend when you needed the advice.

Secondly, the previous post dated August 13, that is for whoever that felt as though I was talking about them. Mind you, there was a few that confronted me yesterday. Thankfully, all was settled and we're cool now. There isn't a need for me to mention the names here for private matters are meant to be dealt with privately. Though I hope, if whatever that I have said yesterday over the phone and MSN, yet still very much doubted me, enquire if you must.

Lastly, I am not one to make enemies out of friends. But whoever make me an enemy, then there is a saying - eye for an eye. You're just as good as being my enemy as well. But as far as I know, I am in good terms with almost everyone with the exception of working colleagues.

Anyone else needed an assurance ?

Untuk Orang Orang Yang Confirm Terasa

2009-08-13T19:09:00.000+08:00

You tickle the very core of my heart, babe. I wasn't even talking about you in the first place, why on earth did you feel the pinch eh ? HAHA ! Kalau terasa means kau tahu laa kan kau buat salah. You're such a shame. Like you have said too many a time, the world does not revolve around you. And yet, you're making it a big hoohaa as though that post was meant to be yours. My oh my. Pity. Tsk tsk.

This is what happens when people read without understanding. Double pity. I really feel your pain. Especially when my friend and I have been reading your blog and have a good laugh over it. So much contradiction. HAHAHA ! Lack parental care, eh ? That's why you keep on reading this blog of mine because every post published was meant to be for you. Tsk tsk. It is no wonder your beloved boy does not want to stay with you. You're too engrossed in yourself to notice others. EVERYTHING is about you. No wonder. No wonder.

Ain, kau tahu sape kan ? Haha !

A measure of one's self worth

2009-08-12T19:31:00.000+08:00

You're a contradictory.

A person with self respect would know exactly how to defend oneself without the need of others. You have your own backbone to lean on, instead of having others to support all that you have said. There isn't a need to retaliate rudely unless one knows one have got no more points to support oneself [that is where having one's friends to come in, isn't it ?].

But however, how could a person be able to respect oneself when he didn't even respect one's family members to begin with ? Blood family. Why is it one could respect one's friends first and family second ? That portrays your self worth as a person, don't you think. A person who claimed to have self respect, being able to tell oneself is much worthy than the others but yet, lacked very much in moral values.

It is such a shame that we're living in a society when one does not admit to one's mistake but kept on pushing the blame to others. Even to an extend of pushing the blame to the person whom have been there way longer than friends. Ironic.

---------------------------------------------

On a lighter note, work is driving me crazy !

Appreciate those who you love for there might be a time when it would all be too late.

2009-08-10T23:27:00.000+08:00

The thing about love is this - it has no boundaries.

So, when is the right time for a person to stop loving the other ?

Creativity

2009-08-09T20:32:00.000+08:00

I got this from Atika's blog.

Plain jane just don't make the cut these days.

Therefore, try exceptionally hard to think out of the box !

It is only when you stand out from the crowd, people would notice you.

Don't you think so ?

2009-08-09T09:58:00.000+08:00

The boy's mother suggested having my upcoming raya outfit be tailor-made instead of just getting them from Geylang this year. They wanted pink as a family but having the boy to wear pink would look rather weird. I would need to send over a sample so that they could have my outfit be the exact same size since I couldn't possibly tag with them to Johor.

On an another note, I am actually reconsidering my position as a beanie in McCafe. The work wears me out and with the already bad condition I am in, it is not helping. I wouldn't want to keep on making a trip to the doctor's for my jab to numb the pain it caused me. The jab is not cheap, I tell you.

What else........

Oh, I am beginning to hate your presence around me.

&& My adorable 9 year old little sister is ironing all my tops and bottoms for me. Aww. Okay, not all. Those that I just took out from the piles of clothes in the basket. No wonder they needed ironing. Eh wait ! All my tops and bottoms don't need ironing ! They would be folded later on and stuff inside my wardrobe. I doubt ironing is necessary. Then again, thanks kecik !

2009-08-08T22:11:00.000+08:00

I think I look better with short hairdo.

Correct me if I'm wrong. :)

Whenever I feel like posting up a picture of myself, I feel sad. I feel sad for the solo pictures of myself in the hard disk are gone. Happily reformatted by Mr. Terry the other time when he wanted to take the pictures when we were in India. I miss looking at the almost straight hair I used to have. Now, the hair is almost wavy most of the times due to the numerous times of drying my hair with the hair dryer. It is almost depressing whenever I look at my own reflection in the mirror. I miss my hair. No, not the one in the picture above. I'll do a search one by one in my previous post. & this is the 1264th post. :x

2009-08-07T23:32:00.000+08:00

~~It is really very scary when someone whom you don't even know to begin with knows you, your name and where you stay. Seram seh !~~

Buat suspend betul. Pfft ! I don't like practical jokes eh.

2009-08-05T13:20:00.000+08:00

Today's post would be in the LJ.

Sorry.

It isn't just a game to begin with

2009-08-04T21:22:00.000+08:00

"I know you grew tired for we are on the run, hiding from the people who would want to see us fall. The awful truth, I grew tired of such games a long time ago. But I gathered enough courage and strength to go on with you. I do not want to fall back, or to be a burden you would have to carry later on. Such a meek person like you, giving me the extra strength to go on with such games, don't you think it would be ridiculous for me to give it all up just as easy ?"

Adapted from Adiella.Livejournal.com, July 28th 2009.

Baby, hang on to me, just like the way I am hanging on to you. Never ever ever let go.

Love Like This Is Gooooooooood !

2009-08-03T22:39:00.000+08:00

I just love this music video. Takin' Back My Love By Enrique Iglesias feat. Ciara. If there is a need to have the whole place torn apart, only to realize there is still love, I would be more than happy to have it done their way with the boy. But I supposed, it wouldn't be necessary. It just takes a whole lot of screaming/shouting with the boy only to then kiss and patch up. Trust me when I said it didn't really matter at whichever place we're at. Like the City Hall station incident. Thrice. *insert widest grin* That is how we show our love for each other, not really.

False Lashes

2009-08-03T14:42:00.000+08:00

Honestly speaking, I was thrilled when I got my false lashes in place. I cam whored for a little bit because I thought I looked different with my falsies. But I got a little bit sad when I messaged the boy telling him I've finally done it, and all he could say was he don't like me with them on. He stressed on the reason why he rather have me looked normal than being all the same as other girls. Oh well. I'll just put up the picture of me with falsies for the sake of keeping myself happy. :)

My Sunday Rants

2009-08-02T20:27:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was quite tiring. At the very least, I already [somehow] learnt a new skill. I am not so much of a pro but I know how to make Iced Chocolate, Latte Frappe, Iced Passion Tea, Chunky Chicken, Pesto Chicken and Triple Decker. Heh. Better than nothing, right ? The cafe manager tested me on my sandwiches. I passed ! *jumps around like a crazy girl*

And it was also at midnight after a very tiring day at work did I figured the fishes were dead. Fishes included would be the Arowana, 2 parrot fishes, 1 sucker fish and a few goldfishes. All were boiled to death. I seriously had no idea how the water in the tank reaches almost boiling point. I love the parrot fishes. :(

What else eh....

Viva on Tuesday. I don't know what and how should I do my presentation for my website.

Then, every Monday is my off day. Therefore, should you have plans to go round Singapore, pick me ! But only on Monday eh please. Other days I got so damn tired after my shift.

Kay laa. Bubbye !

And by the way, it is an irritant to read an entry that goes like this :

"Nawee pun nini thaq POP tauu , like wow kn ? Hahahahahaha . Naq stop lhoh , & must stop . Taq bgoss tausssss ... wee ~ Gerek taus jgk ngn NASA , pt vivo cityy . im alone but yet drg sume lyn seyy , thaq keseorangan akhirnya nini . Hahss . At theree , PIPI PIPOTT jahatt skaleee tauss , dyerh amek nini peh HP , sembuyikn w/o nini tauss seyy , naseb zickyy best fwend blg seyy."

Honestly, what's with the nawee, thaq, naq and etc. If you guys happened to pass by underaged kids blogs, and they happened to blog like this, pening tak ? Bilang aku eh.

If the owner is reading this, sorry ah eh. Betul kan sentence dulu before "hang" aku. Umur baru 17 kan ? Jangan cari pasal.

19th

2009-07-31T14:03:00.000+08:00

Happy 19th Monthsary, AdiReza.

I am sorry for I had forgotten yesterday's date. I had forgotten our monthsary. You know I was quite busy at work. I got tired right after the end of my shift. I really didn't mean to forget, but it slipped my mind. I know you would understand.

I love you.

---------------------------------------------------------

Senior - "Habis kau Suhaila. Ade budak sukekan kau."

With that, it was only my third day at work and some boy goes around having a crush on me. Oh well, McDonald's, what do you expect ? Having that told by my senior, she requested if I could have my mind to myself and never date anyone from my workplace. Like I would. -.-

It was fun, work I mean. My colleagues are nice. With the exception of that one guy cause he is rather shy. Hmmm. Then erm, I am supposed to be at work today learning how to do the Frappes. But my back is giving me problems again. Irritating, eh ?

And by the way, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is so not worth the money. Trust me.

& I seriously need to practice my driving skills. Or else, it would be such a waste. I don't think I remember how to park the car anymore. Heh. Wherever I wanna go, it would always be Daddy driving me around. It is no wonder. Eh eh ?

2009-07-28T12:03:00.000+08:00

This very minute,

I could hear my heart breaking into pieces.

I miss you, AdiReza.

One Double Chocolate, Please

2009-07-27T22:58:00.000+08:00

Honestly, I couldn't recall the number of times I had to face this blank page before I could actually write and have it published. I was brought into the posting page, I had written a few lines before I thought whatever I have written was best to not have it published. So, I had the lines deleted off and am starting on this one, like finally.

OJE [Orientation on the Job Employment] was today and it went well, I supposed. I was asked to look up for Jennifer by Kai the previous day at 2 PM, GWC. I proceeded to the counter and asked for her. Met Jennifer and she brought me to the back and gave me a packaging - my uniform. Honestly, I thought she would be giving me the McD's but I was shocked when I looked at it and it was McCafe's instead [thank god !].

Changed into my attire and Isabell showed me around, going to the different places, telling me what to do and etc. Though it may sound a little bit off, everything sounds so nice ?? I was introduced to Aidil and Shan. ^-^v Very nice people.

Since I haven't taken the jab [all workers in the f&b line would know what this is], I wasn't allowed to do the coffee making and etc. So, the only thing I did for today was to clean, stock up the inventory, walk here, walk there, wash the dishes, wipe the trays and so on and so forth.

Finally, after 4 hours, I was told that I could go home ! *insert huge smile* I changed into my own clothing first before meeting the manager. While I was in the changing room, there's this particular person who kept on knocking on the door impatiently. I was fuming mad while changing [who wouldn't ?]. Once I got out of the changing room, what a surprise I got them into. Suddenly, they were all so nice to me. Guess who ? The McDonald's boys. -.-

The typical mats of course were asking if I was on OJE, so I just smiled and nodded. They were a little bit sad for my position is a barista over at McCafe and NOT over in McDonald's. Haha ! They tried to take a look at my name on my name tag but I was clever enough to have my name tag removed firsthand. Quickly fold my uniform and off to meet the manager before they decide to make a move on me.

Went over to the manager's table and there they are, the McDelivery boys. -.-" Then, it made me think why oh why did I ever choose to take this job and not stay with the previous one. Ugh ! I did not make any eye contact with any of them but I could tell when they're eyeing on me. You know, those feeling as though someone is looking at you, that kind of thing ? Yeah.

The manager, Jennifer, told me the important documents that I have to give on Wednesday when I report for work, and she also gave me the medical form thingy for my jab tomorrow. Met Mama and went over to her place to eat. Best je.

Okay, penat typing already. Gdnight everyone ! :)

PS. The uniform looked so damn huge on me. Or am I just small ? Hmm.

Random random day

2009-07-24T21:25:00.000+08:00

This isn't a self declaration - it is finally the holidays ! I would not have to wake up early in the morning just for the sake of getting my butt down to school or bug the friends to sign me in each time I got up late. Self reflection - hmm, they actually helped me everyday. That explains a lot on my punctuality, isn't it ?

Next !

Two and a half months would be spent working my ass off. Weekends over in Geox at Takashimaya and weekdays over at McCafe. What !? McCafe ?!! Yes, MCCAFE ! I seriously have no idea why I accepted the invitation to work as a barista when I already have a job that pays me well. Never mind. Life as we speak, you need to find the right place. Somewhere where you would feel comfortable.

I mean, if for example you don't feel at all great with the job position you are in now, why even bother to try to endure ? You could try to get a place you're much comfortable in. But of course if you're an executive and you feel as though you deserve to be of a much higher rank - gain it ! Underhand means are unacceptable eh. Also, by jumping from one job to another, you wouldn't go anywhere near to your goal. Patience and of course, do your best !

Back to where I have left off - right, McCafe. Orientation would be this coming Monday and they would test on my - I forgot what Kai told me. He gave me tips though. Keep on smiling. I really think that is a basic necessity especially when you're in the sales line. Imagine having someone taking your orders with a black face. It wouldn't be a pleasant experience, isn't it ?

I miss my babes. Where are you guys ?!!!

Always Adiel

2009-07-23T15:55:00.000+08:00

I was going through my private LJ and guess what I found :

Sweet kan ?

Hee.

Killer thrill

2009-07-23T14:26:00.000+08:00

You know what's the one thing that I love to do most

besides shopping ?

Defying orders. Not just anyone's, but the boy's.

It's the thrill baby. The thrill. :D

Though confirm aku nangis bila dier marah,

still - macam best gitu.

Hehe.

Baby once said, "You eh. Marah sikit, nangis. Marah sikit, nangis. Takmo nangis boleh ?" Sheesh. Dier yang garang sangat. Sape tak nangis ?

Soothe My Pain

2009-07-22T15:03:00.000+08:00

I was at my lowest these days. When a message came in that reads,

"When you give up, don't you think the months you've spent together would be just a waste ? When you love someone, you don't give up. I can't deny it hurts to see that everyone around you don't like to see you both together. When everything starts to fall apart, why must you fall too ? You should be holding your heads up high and convinced yourself that everythings gonna be alright. Someday, somehow, everything would be okay. All good things don't come easy."

It helped a little bit. Thanks, babygirl. :)

It wears me out

2009-07-21T15:47:00.000+08:00

Just really very tired of blogging.

Ahh, I was bored.

2009-07-20T19:39:00.000+08:00

My wrist is still in pain due to the wrestling session I had with the boy a week before. I thank my lucky stars that I survived the match. Those who wrestle with him before would know how though and rough he could be. Though I had to admit he would sulk when he knew he was about to lose to me. Maybe because I would slap his back real hard, and because of the frequent accidental of poking his right eye with my finger [not my fault]. At the very least, he didn't end up with all the bruises. I did ! And it still hurt. :'(

Anyway, it was a relieved after the report submission. It felt as though a huge burden have been lifted off my tiny shoulder. Now, I am definitely looking forward to the holidays. Viva would be in two weeks time and I would friggin' as hell make sure I am prepared for it. Let's just say the report I've drawn out is a little bit less than satisfactory.

Oh ! I just got to know that Underworld 2: Evolution was rated M18. -.-" I was watching the movie in my laptop when I began wondering why there were sex scenes with naked women and men [of course sex scenes requires absolute nothing on]. It felt as though I was watching porn. I sent a text message to the boy telling him what I felt. And he replied, "That's not porn. That's just a mild introductory of porn." -.-

I've never watched porn in my whole 20 years of life. I doubt I would able to stand five minutes watching it. Though I think it would be exciting as hell to watch my boy naked. *insert cheeky smile*

This is what I call - so much for feeling happy.

2009-07-19T20:40:00.000+08:00

I am not enjoying the company of feelings. Without your permission, it would be able to make you feel sucky though you know whatever you did wasn't even intentional. I should have just being born without feelings. Though I would for sure miss the feeling of hurt, joy and love. They create so much drama in your life. That three little suckers.

On the other note, I am terribly happy that I could kill a bird cause of it. I love looking at my favourite cousin being so happy with someone. It makes me feel satisfied. Whatever he have done to my cousin, I thank him for that. It was quite irritating though whenever I asked what he did to my cousin and all he could come up with is charisma. -.-" He happened to be the boy's close friend. More like a brother cause they're always together. I feel jealous sometimes.

Hmm. What else ?

Ohh right. I have 8, 319 words more to go. I hate reports.

2009-07-16T00:45:00.000+08:00

I was a little bit upset when I got the news baby is having fever at a temperature of above 38 degrees. Knowing he have gotten himself a 3-day mc from the camp is a relief. At least he could go home and have a rest.

I was having fever myself and was asked to not come to school by the supervisor and sister. But I was stubborn and headed down to school when I was sent home. Shouldn't have try my luck if I knew it would turn out this way.

Youngest sister caught the flu soon after. She have always been sharing the same room and bed with me. Without a doubt, she could have gotten the flu from me. It wasn't my fault to begin with. She insisted on sleeping with me.

You know what ? The drive to blog on a daily basis as always is dying. I might actually find myself abandoning this blog for a very very very long time.

Till then, don't expect much from me anymore. :)

Cheers !

2009-07-14T20:04:00.000+08:00

Why is so hard for us beings try to atleast appreciate small gestures that others have done for us ? Why do we always always have to expect more than what have been given ? It's frustrating, you know. Do the others know that we are not robots ? Do the others know we're humans who needs to rest, who needs to eat, who needs others to understand that when we're sick, we need that much of a rest more than those who is up and alive ?! Why is it so hard ? What is so hard to understand to begin with ? Tell me. WHAT ?!

-----------------------------------------

On a much lighter note, I had 8 tickets to Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince booked for next week Sunday, 26th July 09. To the ones going - all of you die die must come or else I would have you slaughtered for making me book that ticket of yours. Trust me when I say it is hard to have them booked. :) I was being nice and I paid for everyone except the two lovebirds [Ana&Faizul - ade laki, laki kene bayarkan eh]. Ugh !

-----------------------------------------

Next week would be the final week for semester 3.1 and I am absolutely thrilled ! I had to work, unfortunately. Money don't come crashing down from the sky. You have to work, to earn them with your own sweat and energy rather than having to sit at home and ask from your parents, true ? I was never that enthusiastic for work but I supposed since I am about to graduate in a few more months might as well I get use to working life instead of getting an income from either dad or the boy. It speaks volume of how lazy I am if I were to do that.

-----------------------------------------

My love, you are strong. You will make it thru'. Despite being sick, you had to work and train in camp. To those others who reported in sick, they are nothing but just plain lazy to train. Look at the statistic - 65 men didn't report back in to camp, claiming they're sick and had the medical cert from the doctor. How could all 65 be sick, love ? Isn't it strange ? :) Look at the bright side, I love you.

End.

2009-07-14T14:33:00.000+08:00

I have had enough of everything.

It ends here.

No Shopping

2009-07-13T21:16:00.000+08:00

Boy: Syg tgh buat ape ?
Girl: Tgh tgk baju je since tak blh beli.

Boy: Haha ! Merajuk ke baby ?
Girl: Tk merajuk. Ckp je.

I wanna shoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop. *insert sulk*

Made my way to John Little with sister today and oh my, John Little sure have gotten around changing their floor plan. I love the new JL ! Love love love love love ! And there's Bonjoris [however you spell it] ! Excited nye......

I am not allowed to shop till September [as ruled out by the boy]. *insert super duper sad face*

Eventually, we did.

2009-07-12T23:40:00.000+08:00

We were supposed to be nothing more than just friends.

We were supposed to be nothing more than just close friends.

We were supposed to be nothing more than just the best of friends.

We weren't supposed to fall in love.

Ohh well. We already did.

Fortunately.

For more than five years, Hamizan watched me grew into the person I am today. He have seen me with those men I've dated. He have seen my behaviour when I was with them. But he asked, why am I different when it comes to AdiReza ? Why couldn't I treat him like how I treated the other men before him ? How come I could bow down to him and not the others ?

The answer is simple : I love him. I am much wiser, and very much aware the meaning to love. I could see my future with him, and I couldn't see myself with the others. The others weren't bad, they're just not as good or as strong. My feelings for them could fade over time, but my feelings for this man, it wouldn't be as easy.